Padfoot Loves Moony
by teddylupins-sister
Summary: Sirius wants to leave his mark at Hogwarts.


**A/N: This is truly awful I think. But I tried, please tell me what you think!  
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**Disclaimer: This is Jo Rowling's world, I just enjoy tinkering with it in my spare time.**

"Hey, Prongs?"

"Mm?" James mumbled in response. He was sitting on the ground leaning against an old willow on the shore of the lake. His head was thrown back, his eyes closed, trying to capture as much of the new spring sunlight as possible. He wasn't fussing with his hair, it was all pushed back from his face unceremoniously; Lily had gone home for the holidays. Normally James and Sirius would be at the Potters' for Easter and usually Remus and Peter would join them for a few days too, but this year, their sixth at Hogwarts, the full moon fell right before Good Friday, and they had decided to stay at school so Remus wouldn't have to be alone.

"What do you say to sneaking into Hogsmeade this afternoon while Remus is napping to get some extra chocolate for him?" Sirius asked, turning to face James from where he had been skimming stones into the lake.

"You spoil him too much. The poor child's teeth will be rotten by the time he's graduated school!" James exclaimed, doing his best impression of Madam Pomfrey.

Sirius chuckled, "You're right, how foolish of me! I mean the poor child has only had to have all his limbs and muscles ripped apart and reshaped twice in the one night, how silly of me to think he might like some extra chocolate at Easter!"

James tilted his head back again, laughing. "No, you're right, I was thinking the same thing. It's shit that even his favourite holiday is ruined by his issue."

"Ha, his 'issue'. You always manage to put it nicely. I prefer curse. Or 'shit-thing-that-happened-to-Moony-when-he-was-six-which-means-his-delightful-boyfriend-can't-shag-him-every-single-night-of-the-month'. But that's a bit of a mouthful."

"You know I only refer to it like that so other people don't hear. I guess it's just become a habit. But you're right, it's pretty awful that you can't shag him_ every single night_, I know that Peter and I would be pretty disappointed if you did it any less."

Sirius chucked one of the pebbles at James' leg. "You're just jealous that you can't get any. Anyway there's no way I'm doing it any less than I currently do. I mean it's only one year til we graduate and it's a bloody war out there Prongsy. Who knows how long we'll last? I mean it's highly like that we'll all last forever, because we're so dashing and brilliant and powerful, but still. I'm not taking risks around how much I can shag Moony in my life."

"_Stop_. That's quite enough thank you. Where is he anyway?"

"Where do you think he is? I mean he's either always with me, or in the library, or in the library with me convincing him to find a broom closet somewhere with me."

"Oi! Sirius Orion Black, I don't care how much you fucking love him, I don't want to imagine two of my three best friends getting it on whenever I hear you say "I'm going to fetch Remus from the library– he studies too much," from now on, ok?"

Sirius sighed and flopped down next to James. "Do you really know how much I love him?"

James looked down sharply, cricking his neck. Sirius' tone had changed dramatically, it had gone from loud, brash 'let's annoy James and anyone else I can' to one very similar to the one he had adopted when he had run away from home and was telling James that 'it's done. It's over. I tried, but I couldn't. I'm not a Black anymore." That was one of only two times James had ever seen Sirius cry, and he didn't want a repeat right now. He wasn't good with dealing with tears, it was one of the reasons he liked Lily so much.

"Ow," he said, rubbing his neck. "But, yeah Padfoot, I'd say I have a pretty good idea."

"It's just, I know I always say I love him, and he says it back, and that's all well and good. But after, well you know, The Regulus Thing..." Sirius trailed off.

James did know The Regulus Thing. The 'James my _fucking_ dumb arse _fucking_ idiot of a brother _fucking_ went and got a _fucking_ Dark Mark. What the _fucking_ fuck? When did he become such a fucking idiot. I mean..." Sirius had taken a big breath at that point, before launching into something so fast paced and lacking in punctuation that James only managed to understand because they had been best friends for five years. "I knew he was a Slytherin but I thought that was only because he isn't as much of a bloody reckless git like me," deep breath,"more just cunning and a bit prejudiced not because he's some kind of power crazed evil psycho prat who actually believes the absolute fucking shit our parents have been spouting our whole lives," deep breath, deep breath, "I mean, as if ickle Reggie could actually murder someone. I just, I just thought he was still a good person..." It had taken a long time to convince Sirius that going and hexing all the Slytherins wasn't the best course of action, because then he'd end up dueling Regulus, and that really wasn't for the best.

"After all that," Sirius continued, "I just realised that it really is only one year. One year, and then we have to join the fight. And don't say 'you don't have to if you don't want to Sirius,' because we both know that I _do_ have to. And so does Remus. So we're both going to be fighting, and what if, what if something does happen..." He coughed loudly. "God, sorry, I sound like such a fucking girl. But I just never realised, loving someone like this. It's absolutely terrifying."

James remained silent. He didn't really know what to say. He always said he was in love with Lily, and he truly believed he was, but he couldn't really relate to what Sirius was saying. It didn't matter, because he didn't think Sirius really wanted a reply, just for someone to listen. The silence was comfortable.

"Do you think we'll ever come back here once we've finished?" Sirius asked.

"I don't know. I mean I'm sure I'll get called in here, because the many, _many_ children I have with Lily will be the greatest pranksters ever to grace the halls of this fine institution, apart from ourselves obviously, so surely I will get called in here on a weekly basis for meetings with Dumbledore and McGonagall, because of course they will be in Gryffindor. Sometimes I'll make you or Remus or Peter come, depending on which of the children it is, because you will each be a Godfather to one of them."

Sirius smiled. "Yeah, you're right. And they'll have that fabulous map for their entire schooling not just the last two years like us, so I'm sure they will be able to achieve things we never could, but given that it will be thanks to our map making talent, the credit is still due here. Well, to Remus most of all maybe."

"Hey! It's my bloody cloak that has meant we could find all those places that are on Moony's fabulous map!"

"True, and it's thanks to my brilliance that the Map insults any other git who tries to read, and I think that's the most impressive thing of all really."

They fell back into their companionable silence, contemplating the future. Sirius picked up a twig and started drawing pictures in the dirt.

SB+RL  
>forever<p>

Suddenly he jumped up and withdrew his wand from his pocket. "Prongs my friend," he began, "we only have a year left here. So it's time to start leaving our mark as permanently as possible. It needs to be everywhere. Every student who comes here needs to know, that we were the greatest pranksters and, for that matter, men, who ever came here. Nay, who ever lived."

With that he began carving _Padfoot loves Moony_ into the wood of the old willow.

x0x0x0x

Remus Lupin stretched his arms out in front of him as he left his office. It was late morning, he had slept till eleven o'clock, but it was the first day of the Easter holidays so he didn't feel too guilty. His marking could wait. He found that when he was on the Potion the best thing to do the morning after was go for a slow walk around the grounds. It eased the strain on his aching muscles and gave him more energy so he could rebound more quickly.

He decided to head in the direction of the lake. It was sunny this morning, warmer than it had been so far that year, so he thought it would be nice to skim some stones into the water like he had with his friends when they were at school.

Being back at Hogwarts had been hard for him, and he usually tried to avoid wallowing in the memories and feeling sorry for himself because he no longer had his friends. He was an adult now, and Harry needed him. There was no use thinking about James, or Peter, or Si-

_Enough, Remus, enough._

He had come to terms with the fact that he would never understand what had happened. It didn't do to dwell on memories. They had been the best of friends. War had changed them. Now he was alone.

There was very little he could do but teach these children what he knew and prepare them for what was out there. What he knew... what did he know? The biggest lesson he had learnt in life seemed to be that falling in love is a stupid thing to do, because you always end up hurt. He'd been hurt many times by Sirius. But he'd forgiven. Why had he forgiven him? He couldn't remember now.

The other thing he had learnt was that no matter how hard you try to fight against people's pre-judgements of you, they will always remain in some part. Even James and Peter had thought that he was the traitor.

Two of the three people who knew him best hadn't known him enough to really trust him. Werewolf. And the third, the one that meant the most, had been pretending. Pretending about everything. Remus' whole life had been built around something false.

_Gee, Remus, for someone who wasn't going to wallow in memories of the past, you're not doing a very bang up job._

_And when did you become this bitter? You sound like a seventy year old who has never smiled in his life._

It irked Remus that the voice in his head sounded so much like Padfoot.

His arm was growing tired; the pebbles had been thrown with more and more force as his anger and resentment had grown as it always did when he began thinking about Sirius. He turned to walk back to the old willow and was about to slump against it to rest when he saw something odd.

How many times had he sat against this tree, laughed here, relaxed here, even kissed here? He even remember one night in seventh year when he had snuck out with Sirius and they had shagged here, under the stars. Young, foolish romantics.

So how had he never managed to see that?

Padfoot loves Moony

For the first time since he was bitten as a child, Remus Lupin began to cry. He wept in the way that he never had when James and Lily had died, when he found out that it was Sirius who had betrayed them, and who had killed Peter too. It suddenly came crashing down, all the walls and lies he had built up since that day.

He had convinced himself that if Sirius had really loved him, then he wouldn't have done any of it. Sirius had been lying to him, since they were teenagers, everything had been a lie, and therefore Remus' feelings weren't that strong either. How could something built on a lie be anything more than a lie itself?

But here was proof. Padfoot really _had_ loved Moony. Even if they had only really been children. Padfoot _had_ loved Moony.

So what exactly had made him fall out of love? And if Sirius had managed to do it in just a few years, then how come Remus still couldn't after 12?


End file.
